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Laughter through tears with the news of the People’s News Agency

26 November 2012 / 19:11:57  GRReporter
3950 reads

Anastasia Balezdrova
"Athens, 26 November 2013. People’s News Agency. The temperature drop, which was reported during the last few days in all regions of the country, has caused serious problems to the population. In addition to the shortage of heating oil, which has been going on for sixth months now, continuous power failures do not allow citizens to use alternative heating sources. We recall that burning wood is a crime against the environment and the law provides severe penalties for owners of houses with a reeking chimney. The ministry of ecology, environment and global warming and the ministry for the protection of socialist ideals are responsible for monitoring the compliance with the ban. Heating with wood or other biomass is allowed only in government offices and the homes of government officials, members of SYRIZA, the Greek Communist Party and parliament employees after authorization by the local forestry."
This sounds familiar, doesn’t it? It sounds almost like the newscasts of public television channels in Eastern European countries before the change. Of course, it is a much-exaggerated joke: The People’s News Agency is just a profile on the Facebook social network, which aims to present what Greece would look like if during the next elections, the voters decide to grant the power to SYRIZA.
"Finance Minister Dimitris Stratoulis stated, "Greeks may freeze a bit more, but at least they have dignity. They are not subject to exploitation like in the miserable rest of Europe, which we have fortunately left and which reports a weekly rise in wages of 100%." The "alleged" minister of finance of the "People's Republic of Greece" is the popular representative of the left wing in the radical left, Dimitris Stratoulis, who had said before the election on 6 May that a possible government of SYRIZA would use the bank deposits "to achieve economic growth."

All news of the "agency" is funny and scary at the same time, especially for people who had actually experienced similar blackouts for years.
"Athens, 23 November 2013. People’s News Agency. Today's decision of the ministers of people’s defence, ecology, environment, global warming and the national economy introduces a ban on the ownership of private cars. As explained by one of the ministers, Greeks will thus be relieved from an additional burden because the sale of petrol and diesel was suspended anyway six months ago due to the insufficient import and the closure of private refineries and their nationalization... The minister of people’s protection said that the plan for the withdrawal of cars would be implemented gradually. Priority would be given to cars that could be used for spare parts for public vehicles. He criticized the activities of criminal networks that had tried to sell cars abroad. According to the minister, the attempts of car owners to gain cash from their sales were a property crime against the Greek people. Sources said that the list of names of potential sellers was in the hands of journalist Kostas Vaxevanis. The ministerial decision does not affect car owners entitled to fuel from the public petrol stations, i.e. the members of SYRIZA, the Greek Communist Party and the parliament employees," reads another message of the apparently only news agency in the "people's republic."

Press releases about new banknotes printed with a face value of tens of thousands of euro, which "some Greeks use to fire their stoves thus committing a crime against the property of the Greek people" add to the "socialist reality."

It is unclear whether the profile creators believe that history repeats itself as a farce, but their attempt to expel the evil through a sense of humour is definitely clear.

Back in the real world, those who alleged that they wish to turn Greece into a "European Cuba" are making a new turn in the course of the party. According to publications in the Greek press, the party will have to respond to a dilemma in the upcoming Pan-Hellenic party convention: Whether it will take the big step or if it will be afraid of the likelihood of taking the power of Greece in the next elections. So far, various movements have had different positions and the assessments of the near future are different too.

Things with the communists are quite different: Yesterday, they celebrated the 94th anniversary of the founding of the party. Its general secretary Aleka Papariga assured the members, "No union, no matter how necessary it is, can undermine the ideological, political and organizational autonomy of the Greek Communist Party." She strongly opposed "the proposal of SYRIZA to change ourselves and to become a part of them, i.e. to accept the European Union and NATO in practice. This will not happen even in the Second Coming."

After using the expression connected with the Christian religion, which she otherwise denies, Aleka Papariga completely excluded the possibility of the communists supporting a government of SYRIZA.

Under these circumstances, Greece might not be able to live in the socialist paradise the "People’s News Agency" describes. Most likely, only parliament employees will continue to live in it.


Tags: MediaPeoples News AgencySocial network
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